thisbe's Blog

Introvert Wedding

All around me it would seem that wedding fever is spreading. I have two upcoming weddings to attend and every time I log into Facebook I see another picture of a newly engaged couple. With all the wedding madness around me I find myself looking into my future imagining my own wedding. At first, these imaginings took the form of the traditional wedding, with flower girls, wedding parties, and a big reception. Every time i thought this I would dread ever finding someone to marry and I thought to myself if only I had a family who wouldn't care if I eloped. But then it occurred to me that most of the wedding traditions we have do not have any significant meaning in our culture. I could easily sidestep what is expected and still satisfy my family’s desire to share this special day with me. I call this my introverted wedding.
The wedding: As a Catholic I want to get married within my church in the traditional way. In order to make this more comfortable I decided that I will cut out the extras. No flower girls or ring bearers. And no trying to find extra bridesmaids or groomsmen just so everyone will have a partner to walk down the aisle with. If somebody has to walk alone they will do it or they can walk in triplicate. A smaller wedding party means a smaller wedding. 
The guests: Having the ceremony on a weekday will weed out some of the less important guests such as second cousins who don’t feel the need to go out of their way to attend. Another way is to have an adult only wedding.
The reception: This is the most dreaded part of any wedding. All the receptions I have been to have been too loud to hold a conversation and too crowded for the area. My idea, change the after wedding reception into a come and celebrate with us party, avoiding stress by holding it on a different day and at home. Since the wedding is on a weekday than have the party on a weekend. Have the reception as formal or informal as you want.
Dancing: In my family people will want to dance no matter the location. As someone who doesn't want to spend the evening dancing I think it would be best to set up a separate area for this. Large enough for dancing but small enough where all the guests won’t fit, that way dancers and non-dancers will be happy doing what they prefer and nobody will be forced to yell above the music just to have a chat.
Food: This is not an introvert thing just something I've noticed at weddings. Whether catered, potluck, or home made having your party at home will guarantee that plates are not cleared away before people are done eating. (I mean seriously what ever happened to silverware etiquette. Fork and knife placed together in the center of the plate means – finished, you may remove my plate. Fork and knife on the side of the plate or crossed means - I’m in the bloody bathroom don’t touch my bloody food! Or something to that effect.) 

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Introvert Wedding, posted March 3rd, 2013

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